July 20, 2013 my birthday

A sobering birhday: 

This brthday has been sobering, almost relaxed and slow, I am still finding peace here in LA. I do have the stress that comes with no money to pay bills or buy a birthday gift for my son, and that sort of stress can be awkward and painfully overwhelming. But I feel  a stillness, at ease in my own skin, simply content in knowing something here is supposed to occur. I'm not in fear anymore, I do not understand why, or what the reasons may be, but I feel overjoyed with this feeling of fullness. Love is fine, I wish I had a special someone here, but I don't. Eventually my kids will join me out here, once I'm on my feet a little, the bills will eventually be paid, what's to come is meant to be 

I feel a large degree of gratefulness, for the lessons I have learned in my life that have brought me to this moment now. I feel almost complete. LikeI can see the finish line just ahead, and all the dreams I once had will finally be realized.This time I'm meant to stay.

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